His hair seemed to jiggle as he flipped through the pages.
He didn’t know he was about to win a paperback book.
For those of us who have been hating Ready Player One before it was cool, the backlash has been weird. Sure, the book is full of sexism, racism, pointless nostalgia, and lists of things. All valid reasons to hate it! But did anyone dumping on the book, or even its fans, actually look at the words on the page? That was my biggest problem with Ready Player One.
The writing was excruciating.
As a game developer, there’s nothing I want more than a passionate audience. Seeing Penny Arcade’s evangelical comic about Battle Chasers: Nightwar plucked an envious string in my heart. It’s exactly my kind of game: a turn-based RPG in the classic Final Fantasy style. I picked it up for Nintendo Switch to have something new to play on the bus. These are my first impressions after an hour of gameplay, having never read a Battle Chasers comic.
This year I bought a Raspberry Pi to serve as a retro emulation box. It stinks.
Not anyone’s fault, really. The hardware just doesn’t have the power to run SNES games like Super Mario World at full speed. Anything NES and below is fine, as long as you’re using wired controllers.
So I turned the device into a file server using Raspbian and looked into configuring Samba 5 to allow anyone on my network to read and write files without a password.
It looked like this:
ÛKBÛK: “Hello everyone, and welcome to your first day of orientation under the Bright Lord! My name is Ûkbûk and I’ll be your Experience Coordinator here at Cirith Ungol. We’re having these sessions in small groups so I can hear your concerns and listen to your feedback.
“I’m sure you’re a little disoriented after being forcibly branded, whether you were grabbed from behind or pounced on from a tower or because you didn’t see a human ranger sprinting directly at you in broad daylight across a flat plain while you were totally sober.”
What the (burp) heck was that? It’s so stupid, Morty! Wh-why-why would I do anything for the President of the United States? I don’t care about him. I only helped out with the Cromulon situation because the Earth would have been destroyed. Do you know how disruptive that would have been to my work? Now I’m harrassing this jerk on priiiinciple? You said you didn’t want the selfie. Didn’t I just say that an adventure requires stakes and a way for me to benefit? And now I’m solving the middle east peace process for fun?
I mean… okay, but it’s not what I wanted.
During my time at 343 Industries, I toyed around with a pitch for a game for Xbox One. It would use the power of the new console to render an entire Halo installation. I wanted it to be a vehicle-centered sandbox with occasional on-foot bits, possibly in third person. Imagine taking a stock Warthog and upgrading it throughout the game, turning it into a Covenant Killer or Forerunner Flattener. I’m not saying I had it all figured out (hence why the pitch bombed in concept), so if this doesn’t seem fully baked to you… it wasn’t.
I wasn’t sure which installation to use, so I put down 07 as a starting point. They’ve all had such a grand history, even the ones Master Chief didn’t blow up. Please feel free to use this for your next game, Bonnie Ross.
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